and then

And then there was today. My husband is depressed. Here I have this awesome knowledge of God and life is not all good. huh, makes ya think huh. I mean I am generally happy, til I, as a mortal, try to stuff my feelings down some dark pit so I don't have to face them. Denial is a horrible monster that will swallow you whole and then you know what happens. I just can't see the other side and so its hard to always look at whats happening now honestly.

I know I am suppose to be here. I mean I chose to come here and get this body and have thes3e trials. I knew what I was gatting into. He has given me gifts and preparation, but oh man, its a lot harder now that I am down here. I have to trust that He knew what he was doing and that I really can handle this stuff.

When I was little I had kidney reflux. Lets just say it causes bladder and kidney infections and I was sick alot til I had surgery.
I remember my dad and I sitting in the waiting room of the hospital and he was teaching me how to knit. I remember when I was about 6 and my sister was born. I also remember my mother having a nervous breakdown.

These things have schooled me and taught me a little. I wasn't really accountable for any of that stuff. I wasn't accountable until I was about 8. I remember when I got baptized. It felt like magic. I wish that all of Gods children could know that sweet anticipation and the magic of Baptism.